💬 What I Wish More People Knew About Emotional Pain

Most of the people I work with aren’t falling apart.

They’re doing their best.
They show up for others.
They manage, organize, achieve.
They’ve learned how to hold it together.

And underneath that?
There’s pain. But it doesn’t always look like pain.

Sometimes it looks like silence.
Sometimes it looks like control.
Sometimes it looks like over-functioning, dissociation, or even humor.

Emotional pain wears disguises.

Pain Isn’t the Problem

One of the biggest misconceptions I see is the belief that pain means something’s wrong.

We tend to treat pain like an error — like a bug in the system that needs to be patched or eliminated.
But in my experience, pain is not the problem. It’s the communication system of the psyche.

Pain says, “Something’s been avoided.”
Or, “Something’s asking for attention.”
Or, “You’ve outgrown the life you’re in, and something else wants to come through.”

You don’t eliminate that signal.
You learn to listen to it.

The Body Knows First

In the work I do — especially with somatic practices — the body often speaks before the mind does.

People come to me feeling tension in their chest, knots in their gut, or a sense of disconnection they can’t explain.

By the time the mind forms a narrative, the body has often been trying to communicate for years.

The challenge isn’t hearing the pain.
It’s slowing down enough to not override it.

You Don’t Need to Understand Everything to Start Healing

Another thing I wish people knew?
You don’t need to explain your pain perfectly before doing something about it.

I work with a lot of high-functioning people — professionals, creatives, spiritual seekers — and I see how often they think they have to intellectually figure it out before they’re allowed to feel it.

You don’t.

In fact, trying to analyze it too soon can block the very insight you're seeking.

Sometimes the first real shift happens when someone says,

“I don’t know what this is… but it hurts.”

And I say,

“That’s enough. Let’s start there.”

Pain as an Opening

Pain isn't a punishment.
It’s often an initiation.

A sign that the life you’ve been living no longer holds who you’ve become.

It doesn't always need to be solved.
But it does need to be met — with presence, patience, and respect.

That’s what I try to offer.

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